Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

OK everyone sing along... "Come a come a down do be do down down. Come a come a down do be do down down. Come a come a down do be do down down. Breakin' up is hard to do!"

I am trying very hard to break off my affair with food. Fact is I love food, but food does not love me back. It doesn't even care about me. What kind of a relationship is that? I should be able to walk away and say "buh bye" right? Wrong... it seems our bodies cannot do without food so I am forced to continue eating food. Boy does that ever suck. Talk about an abusive relationship.

I need to set the terms of the relationship and that is where the trouble lies. I cannot find a happy medium between all and nothing. I begin by setting limits but then when the food is before me I dig in with gusto. I love food. Any food. Particularly well seasoned and sauced food. As my dear husband says I never eat anything plain. I am supposed to be eating lean and green. Ok so it starts out lean and green but soon ends up with condiments and sauces galore and it tastes so wonderful be it Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Indian, whatever. The sauces and condiments make the dish and I am having trouble refining my taste buds down to the basics.

I am having successes although they are not showing on the scales. I have done an absolutely fabulous job of avoiding the bowl of trick-or-treat candy at work. It's the good stuff too: mini Snickers, Milky Way, Whoppers, Reese's Peanut butter Cups, Junior Mints, Nestle's Crunch Bars, need I go on? Last year I ate tons of the stuff every day during October. This year I have not so I know I am doing well in that regard. Also, I had a dilemma regarding what to hand out to the trick-or-treaters on Halloween. I know darn well that any candy I buy I will eventually eat as the things I do not like are few and far between. I hate those Circus Peanut candies but I would not hand them out to anyone. Besides they are not individually packaged for handing out. Hmmmm so what do I dislike that I actually could hand out and not be embarrassed to be giving it away. Ahhhh BUBBLE GUM! I hate the stuff and I don't know why. I used to eat the stuff all the time as a kid, but somewhere along the way as I got much older I grew to loathe it. SO I bought 2 bags of bubble gum and that is what I will be handing out. Any leftovers will go in the candy jar at work as there are plenty of other people who do like bubble gum.

And while I am still eating too much, I am also eating healthier. Lots more veggies. So that is good too. At least I haven't quit. Usually by now I would have given up. But each time I feel I am failing, I am trying to look deeper for the cause instead of just ignoring it all. It is frustrating to realize how very addicted I am to food. This blog is helping too because in order to write about my experience I have to examine it so that I know what I want to say and how I want to say it.

So while I should be down about 30 pounds by now I am only down about 18 or so because I continue to struggle over the same 2-3 pounds. So frustrating.

So tomorrow I start over AGAIN and try to be honest with myself. Food, are you listening? I HATE you!